British Etiquette: The Dos and Don’ts for non-native English speakers
Life in the UK can be difficult, especially when you’re not a native English speaker. Small changes in language can communicate small changes in meaning. Here are some do’s and don’ts for communicating in English.
DO: Use ‘would you like?’ instead of ‘do you want?’
If you’ve got a job – as a waiter, for example – try not to ask questions like “Do you want a glass of milk?”. Instead, try “Would you like a glass of milk?”. In fact, there are many examples of when using modal verbs like ‘could’ and ‘would’ is much more polite.
Here are some examples:
“I can help you” -> “I could help you if you’d like.”
“Give me a glass of water” -> “Could you give me a glass of water?”
DO: Use Indirect Questions
“Where is the bathroom?” seems like a reasonable question to ask. For some, it might seem rude. Try using an indirect question. This changes the question to “Can you tell me where the bathroom is?”
It’s easy to do. Just take a direct question – “Why are you here?” – and add one of the following to the start of the question:
- Could you tell me…
- Would you mind telling me…
- Have you any idea…
- Will you please tell me…
The end of the indirect question “Have you any idea when the train arrives?” is the same as a positive sentence. The answer to the indirect question is “The train arrives at 9:30am.”
It’s a bit different when you use a closed question – a question without a ‘question word’ (when, where, why, who, what and how) – like “Are you okay?” or “Do you eat lasagna?”. Closed questions only need a yes or no answer.
When making these closed questions into indirect ones, you will need to add “if” before the subject. For example “Could you tell me if you are okay?”
Start asking questions like this, and people might find you to be more polite!
DON’T: Use the wrong intonation
If you’re wondering what intonation is, it’s basically how our voices rise or fall in tone. Let’s compare two ways of speaking.
A question like “Could you pass the salt, please?” has two different meanings depending on how you say it. If your voice rises at the end, it is very likely the British people whom you are trying to impress will find you to be very polite. However, if you speak in only one tone, or the tone of the sentence falls at the end of it, people might be offended.
Together, these tips can ensure that people think of you as a polite English speaker!
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Author: Kit, a teacher at Speak Up London.
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